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Having spent a number of years working as a hospice and community palliative care social worker and therapeutic counselor, and having been at the bedside of many dying patients, I have strong sense of the finality of dying which can either be a peaceful release into bliss or it can be an experience of regret, extreme fear or even deep resentment. The former is often experienced when someone has lived life fully and is prepared to let go when the body wants to release the spirit. The latter is often where there is an ache to live longer to fulfil more, to do more, to taste more and experience more, but the body is saying no. Most people, when they die, will be somewhere between these polarities.
Age has nothing to do with these frames of mind of acceptance or regret. It’s really determined by the way a person has lived. How we live often determines how we will die. Death of course is only a transition from the experience of mortal individuality into the beautiful and luminous life that lies beyond. But in order to truly live well, to experience the beauty and possibilities of this mortal life, we need to embrace the fact that it won’t last forever. The challenge facing each one of us is to embrace the joys of our physical mortality knowing we will one day need to release it. This notion of our physical impermanence offers us the opportunity to live without the crippling maybe’s, might be's or wannabes that can haunt our minds. An elderly dying person once told me of her regret that she just floated along in life without making a commitment to her dreams. She said to me "Life passes so quickly and there can be so many regrets; make sure you have no regrets". Her 'floating' through life became a source of remorse for her, because she wanted so much now to embrace something challenging and meaningful, however terminal disease was preventing this from happening.
If you want to do something meaningful and soul satisfying with your life don’t allow regret, fear or uncertainty to stand in your way. You are a divine being with dignity and precious worth. Viktor Frank the renowned psychiatrist and founder of Logo-Therapy was a survivor of the Nazi Holocaust. He learned in the death camps that those who survived the torturous conditions were [often] t
hose who could find meaning and purpose in their lives to enable them to carry on and not give up. His experiences of being a survivor gave rise to his book ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ and lead him to become the founder of the ‘Third Viennese School of Psychotherapy’ –a therapy that was rooted in his experience of finding meaning and purpose whilst living in conditions close to what one might describe as an experience of hell on earth.
If you have dreams, hopes, ambitions whatever they might be, be mindful of that quirk in human nature we all share and experience—often called the 'shadow'. The shadow or ego, is a set of limiting thoughts and untested assumptions, based upon the principles of fear and scarcity. The ego/shadow will suggest to you all the reasons ‘why not’. It will seek to keep you locked into mundanity, into a Groundhog Day experience of a life you don't want in your heart of hearts....and I ask you why? Fear of doing something because we ‘might fail’ is a lost opportunity. Whatever it is, it might be something small in the eyes of the world-but to us is big and huge and magnanimous-so don't allow fear to deny you the opportunity. Don’t allow fear or false modesty to hone your life choices or eclipse your dreams. Yes, we must give careful thought, consideration and planning into idea's and that is prudent and important, but to not do something due only to fear, is to rob ourselves of significance and worth.
An exercise:
Say the following to yourself in front of the mirror daily: "Remember this life called…………(your name) which has been given to me to live fully. I chose to enter into incarnation on earth to grow and expand my soul. I accepted a ‘veil of forgetfulness’ of my former life in infinity, in order to push my spirit to the limit in this world for its eternal growth. I choose now, this very day, to be faithful to my promise made in the halls of eternity to The Divine Light, to myself and to my spirit family, to LIVE this life to the full, embracing love and compassion and joy and ecstasy and to soar. I will soar like an eagle into the heavens and enjoy having the air fill my body and feel the energy of Gaia underneath my feet surging into my body. I choose to live my dreams.
Much love and many blessings
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